Parenting Playbook, Landmine Presses & Real Connection

1) I wrote a book!

Well… it’s more of a playbook actually.

Over the past couple years, I’ve been turning the weekly messages I send my own kids into a simple system to help parents stay connected during the years that matter most. And it’s finally ready for a test drive.

I’m looking for a small group of Founding Readers (who have tweens/teens) who’d be willing to read it for free and share a little feedback before the official launch. If you’re in, here’s all I’d ask:

• Read through it over the next couple weeks
• Share a few thoughts on what resonated or what could be clearer
• And if you find it helpful, a short testimonial I can use when we launch

If you’d like to be part of the early crew, just reply to this email and I’ll send it your way.

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2) Gym equipment: Landmine

I use the landmine attachment at least once a week in my training. It is a versatile tool for movements like single-leg deadlifts if balance is a challenge, or overhead presses if your shoulders get cranky. Lately I have been loving the rotational work, especially rotational clean and presses. Give it a try next time you are in the gym.

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3) Private youth sports trainers

Here’s an interesting article on the boom in private sports training for kids, which has become a big business as families chase an extra edge and invest serious time and money. As a parent of five athletes and someone who runs a gym that does athletic development, I have plenty of thoughts, but the biggest is this: before you hire any private training, your child should already be self-motivated and putting in work on their own without complaint. You cannot want it more than they do.

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
— Abraham Lincoln

“Presence is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
— Simone Weil

Why Showing Up Matters

The couch is comfortable. Netflix has infinite options. The algorithm knows exactly what I want to scroll next. And after a long day, collapsing into that routine feels like exactly what many of us need.

But here is what I have learned: vegging out is easy. Connection takes work. And I function much better when I am connected.

I was laughing at my calendar the other day. In just two weeks, I had watched seven games for my kids, served as PA announcer for my son’s JV soccer match, hosted a spelling bee at our gym, ran a free fitness class for the L’Arche community, coached basketball, and led a Dad book club.

Lonely, I am not.

With five kids, activities practically find me. But even on nights when I am tired, when staying home sounds infinitely more appealing, I come back from these commitments feeling more alive, not less. More fulfilled, not depleted.

I suppose that’s the strange paradox of modern life. The easier something is, the less satisfied it leaves us. Connection, actual in-person presence, takes effort. You have to shower. Put on real pants. Drive somewhere. Show up when you do not feel like it.

And yet that effort is exactly what makes it meaningful.

Even the most introverted among us finds something irreplaceable in connection. Not loud socializing, just presence. Silent book clubs exist for a reason. Sometimes proximity matters as much as conversation.

Volunteering may be the real key. It gets you out of your own head and connects you to something larger than your own concerns. You do not have to manufacture friendship. You are just there, together, doing something that matters… especially helpful when the world news can be so depressing.

So here is my challenge: Join something this month.

• Coach a team.
• Join a board.
• Lead a club.
• Mentor a kid.

And make sure not everything revolves around your own kids. You need spaces where you are not just “Jackson’s dad.”

• A running club.
• A poker night.
• A service organization.
• A writers group.

Your couch will still be there when you get back.

But you might find you need it a little less than you thought.

Thanks for reading, dads. Let’s make this time count!