Once a month we send our five kids out to dinner together. No parents.

And I LOVE IT.

Sibling Dinners. Highly recommend.

I wrote more about it in today’s Father Time 2.0 newsletter and on my blog. Link in bio. ...

If you have high-performing, high-achieving teens, they’re grinding for the entire school year.

Grades. Sports. Clubs. Social stuff. Pressure. Looooooong days.

So encourage them to enjoy summer and get some real rest as Priority #1.

I’m giving my kids three buckets to fill this summer, in order of importance:

1. Fun / Relax
2. Self-Improvement
3. Earn some $$

Go to the pool. Hang with friends. Stay up too late once in a while.

Train. Read. Work on your sport. Build a skill.

Get a job. Mow lawns. Lifeguard. Babysit. Make some walking-around money.

Don’t optimize your way out of childhood.

The best parts of summer rarely make the resume, and your kids can’t get these summers back. ...

College drop-off has a funny way of making you think about all the years that came before it.

The little kid. The playgrounds. The sports. The vacations. The complaints about my cooking.

And then, somehow, you’re weeping with your wife in a parking garage after saying goodbye.

I think the thing I’m most grateful for is that we got to this point with nothing important left unsaid.

That’s probably the best I could’ve hoped for.

Your turn now, son. ...

Message #17 below.

One day they’ll leave home. Make sure they take your words with them.

Every Sunday, I send my five teenagers one message.

Sometimes it’s encouragement. Sometimes it’s a story. Sometimes it’s a life lesson. Sometimes it’s just a check-in question. Here’s this week’s message. Make it your own and send it.

—————————

[emailed to my teens]

Can you believe this? I was talking to Bell the other day, and she said, “Mom was a little upset because you never buy her chocolate. Is that true?”

I said, “To be honest, I never knew she sold chocolate.”

Anywho...

Here’s something worth remembering.

Researcher Brené Brown makes a distinction between fitting in and belonging.

Fitting in means changing who you are so people will accept you.

Belonging means being accepted because you’re willing to be who you actually are.

As a teenager, you’re going to have moments where you simply want to fit in. Honestly, that’s part of growing up. I certainly did. Sometimes I laughed at things I shouldn’t have. Sometimes I stayed quiet when I should have spoken up.

But over time, I hope you choose belonging more often than fitting in.

Find friends who let you be your weird, honest, imperfect self.

And remember...

With our family, you’ll always belong.

We know the real you.

And we like that person an awful lot.

Love,
Dad ...