The Courage to be Disliked, Dad SZN & Men Reading Novels

Dad Brand?!

Dad SZN

Pat O’Donnell and Nick Foles (yes, that Nick Foles of “Philly Special” fame) have launched DAD SZN, an apparel company created for dads. Their goal is to build a community that celebrates fatherhood while being real about the daily grind of raising kids. Is simply wearing the same hat enough to foster a true community? Perhaps I’m missing something. Are any of you out there rocking a “Dad” brand?

Parenting Tip

The “Fill Their Tank” Approach

When our kids were younger, we consistently set aside “alone time”—10 to 15 minutes of one-on-one attention with each child, with no agenda other than just hanging out (and no siblings allowed!). In a family of seven, this was crucial for ensuring each child felt seen and heard.

Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene supports this strategy, explaining that kids have emotional “tanks” that need regular filling before they can handle life’s demands. Just 10 minutes of undivided attention, a genuine compliment, or simply listening to them talk about something they love can work wonders. Even now, with teenagers, I’ve noticed my kids are far more open after these small connection moments than after any lecture or consequence.

Great Read

Why Did the Novel-Reading Man Disappear?

One of life’s great joys, for me, is looking forward to bedtime so I can dive back into my book. Honestly, if you don’t read books, I’m not sure you can be trusted. 😉 I’ll share more about why I love fiction in an upcoming newsletter, but I connected with this article about encouraging more men to read novels:

“If more men were reading like Mr. Israel, the thinking goes, the country would be a healthier place: more sensitive, more self-aware, less destructive. As more American men fill their hours with the crude talk shows of the ‘manosphere,’ online gambling, and addictive multiplayer games, the humble novel—consumed alone, requiring thought and patience—can look like a panacea.”

Question: Would you be up for a Father Time 2.0 Book Club? Email me if you’re interested in reading a book and chatting about it on a Zoom call with other dads.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

“The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” — Elbert Hubbard

The Courage to be Disliked

If you have a wife in her 40s, there’s a good chance she’s entering her “Let Them” era. Mel Robbins’s bestselling book, Let Them, drives home a straightforward but powerful point: let people think and do whatever they want without letting it affect you.

While I haven’t read her book, the premise reminded me of something I read years ago that offers similar advice—advice that might resonate even more with us dads: The Courage to Be Disliked, by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi.

Written as a unique dialogue between a philosopher and a young man, it’s more engaging than your typical self-help book. I highly recommend reading it yourself, but here’s my TLDR with the top five lessons every dad can apply today (and I’ll be sharing these with my teens in an upcoming email too!):

1. Overcome Inferiority Complexes: Comparing ourselves to others often breeds feelings of inadequacy. Instead, the authors encourage us to recognize our unique strengths and weaknesses and to stop seeking external validation.
2. Let Go of the Desire for Recognition: Chasing approval traps us in other people’s expectations. Focus instead on intrinsic goals and your own values. Man, I give this advice to my own kids weekly, but only after I give myself a pep talk with these reminders!
3. Live in the Present: Dwell less on the past or future—be fully here, now. This is such a tough one for me, and many dads I know. I tend to focus a lot on providing for my family and setting us up for financial freedom, which leaves me constantly thinking about the future. To counteract that, I’ve been doing a 5-minute mindfulness practice every day.
4. Find Purpose in Life’s Tasks: The book boils life down to three key areas: work, relationships, and love. Leaning into each with purpose and meaning creates balance and lasting satisfaction.
5. Reframe Your Problems: How we see challenges shapes our experience. View obstacles as opportunities for growth, and you’ll build resilience and character for yourself—and set a powerful example for your kids.

Easy peasy, right?

I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t mastered any of these five. But I know one thing: intentionality matters. When I do practice them more purposefully, I tend to show up as a better dad and husband.

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Thanks for reading, dads.

Let’s make this time count!