Fathers Eve, Lighthouse Parenting & Dad Hobbies

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

Cool Find

Fathers Eve

I just learned about this grassroots movement that celebrates dads being dads—on the eve of Fathers Day. From their site:

“Celebrate Fathers Eve in your own way. Daytime volunteering or service activity, and then an evening get-together. You can throw a big party or just hang out with a few friends in your garage.”

It’s designed for all types of dads to connect, serve, and celebrate the Brotherhood of Fatherhood. Check it out and consider hosting your own gathering this June.

Family Health

Back on the Track

If you’re in Atlanta and looking for a fun, active outing with your kids, check out the Atlanta Track Club All-Comers Meets.

Even if you’ve never raced or thrown a shot in your life, it’s an encouraging, low-pressure way to try something new. You can run a 100m dash, do a parent-kid relay, or just cheer from the infield. I actually pole vaulted last night at the meet (and I am paying for it this morning :).

Who knows—you might even discover a new hobby. (More on this in the Big Dad Idea below.)

Great Read

Lighthouse Parents Raise More Confident Kids

Russell Shaw’s take on “lighthouse parenting” is worth a read. The core idea: be a beacon for your kids—visible, consistent, and guiding—but don’t try to captain the ship. Overparenting can stunt problem-solving and resilience. Shaw reminds us to listen more, fix less.

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

Hobbies are great distractions from the worries and troubles that plague daily living.

— Bill Malone

The way we spend our free time defines who we are just as much as the way we spend our work hours.

— Jonathan Fields

1 Big Dad Idea

When you have kids, you lose a bit of your identity. And if you're a good parent, you lose even more—because showing up for your kids requires real sacrifice. Your goals, your time, your personal ambitions all get pushed to the background for years. That's not a complaint; just a reality.

This isn't a profound insight, and it's not exactly helpful either… unless we wrestle some insight from it. Mainly, dads need an outlet. Hobbies. Something beyond going to work and being a dad.

And yet, that's the treadmill a lot of us are on. Small talk becomes a loop of work and kids. In fact, I think it's such an issue that it's one of the reasons we see so much craziness from dads on the sidelines of youth sports. When a dad feels he's doomed to a life of work and parenting, his hopes and dreams can then rest on his kids' performances. And if that's not going well, dad is likely to take that out on his kid or the ref or the coach.

So here's the point: Get a hobby. Start something. Meet some people. Not because you have extra time—but because your identity matters. You might only have space for one thing right now, and that's okay.

For me, it's pick-up ball on Wednesdays. Reading books. Volunteer coaching. And this week, I'm pole-vaulting—on a total whim. And I don't feel even a little guilty about it. These things fill in the cracks between all the big stuff—providing for my family, showing up for my kids, building something meaningful. Each one reminds me that I'm still me, not just "Dad." PLUS, it’s modeling a healthy example for our own kids that life is not over when you become a parent.

So next time I'm chopping it up with you on the sideline of our kids' game, I don't want to hear about the gameplan for how our 10 year-olds can win the division this year.

I want to hear what you're reading. What your dad band played at its last gig. What your race plan is for the 5K. Your gardening strategy for tomatoes. How the treehouse you're building is crooked as hell.

Crafting an interesting life on purpose helps us hold onto the parts of us before we had kids. Those parts didn't disappear—they just got buried under responsibilities.

Dig them back up.