Investing in your kids, a Facebook delight & Maya Angelou

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

Parenting Article:

The One Big Thing You Can Do for Your Kids

The research shows that you probably have less effect on your kids than you think—with one major exception: Your love will make them happy.

Apple TV Series:

Your Friends & Neighbors

We’re only a few episodes in, but this one’s already pulling us in. Jon Hamm is great, and the show delivers a fun peak into the lives of rich suburbanites who aren’t quite as put-together as they seem.

Made me smile:

A Facebook Nudge From the Past

Every May, like clockwork, I get a message from an old college track teammate. We haven’t spoken in over two decades, but after the annual conference track championship wraps up, he somehow still remembers to let me know: my decathlon school record still stands (humble-brag, much?!). It's such a small gesture, but it always makes me smile that we still have a bond. As much as I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook, this is in the love column and a reminder that social media is not all bad.

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

What a privilege to be tired in the pursuit of a challenge of your own choosing. — Unknown

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. — Maya Angelou

1 Big Dad Idea

When people find out we have five kids, the questions come fast:

Was that on purpose?

Did you always want a big family?

I can barely manage two—how are you managing five?

These are easy answers:

Yes.

Yes.

And… you should see our color-coded Google Calendar—it looks like a stained glass window.

[Side note: After each baby, we just had this sense that not everyone was at the party yet. That whisper didn’t quiet down until #5 arrived.]

But recently, someone asked a deeper question:

“Is there one key to your parenting success?”

(Kind of them to assume we’re succeeding. ;)

The best answer I’ve got?

We were present. Especially in the early years.

Erin stayed home. I built flexibility into my work. For nearly a decade, we hunkered down. It wasn’t glamorous, and it definitely wasn’t always fun—but it was intentional. We made a long-term bet that consistent presence would pay off, not right away, but like compounding interest. Or maybe like tending a slow-growing garden that eventually bears fruit.

Recently, I listened to an interview that validated much of what we felt in those early years. Clinical social worker Erica Komisar makes the claim:

“Emotional security in the first three years of a child’s life shapes their mental health for their entire life.”

She focuses primarily on the mother’s role, but also points out that fathers are biologically wired to buffer stress and build attachment. She even goes so far as to say that what we often label as “disorders” in kids are actually symptoms of early disconnection.

Not everyone agrees with that assertion, but her core message certainly resonated with me deeply: Our presence in the early years isn’t just helpful—it’s foundational.

So if you’re in that season right now—diapers, tantrums, exhaustion—remember: this is more than survival. This is the investment period. The grind you're in today is building the emotional support your kid will stand on for the rest of his life.