Parental Winning, The Black Rabbit & My Friends

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

1. The Black Rabbit (Netflix)
   I wanted to like this more than I did. The restaurant/bar setting is a cool visual backdrop, but I was kind of ready for the show to be over after the fifth episode. Maybe Jason Bateman’s character was just too outrageous.

2. My Friends (Fredrik Backman)
   Dad Book Club success! We all really enjoyed the book as well as each other’s insights. The book was funny, poignant, and full of memorable moments. Definitely recommend. Next up: What We Can Know by Ian McEwan. (We’ve got room to add two more dads if you’re interested!)

3. Need a Place to Stay in Atlanta?
   I can finally check this project off the list. Our Airbnb is officially up and running! Check it out here.

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.” — John Wooden

“Winning is fun, sure. But winning is not the point. Wanting to win is the point. Not giving up is the point. Never being satisfied with what you’ve done is the point.” — Pat Summit

1 Big Dad Idea

Over the last few weeks, I've had multiple conversations with dads about coaching—mostly youth sports. One question keeps surfacing:

What's the real role of a coach?

When kids are little, we say, "Just make it fun."

But as they grow up, something shifts. We start expecting more. Better records, smarter plays, more wins. Somewhere along the way, we start hearing more about standings and less about growth.

So which is it: develop players or win games?

Ideally both. But at some point, you have to decide what you value most.

That's where things get interesting for us as parents too.

In the early years, we just want our kids to be happy, have fun, stay healthy. But as they move through middle and high school, the scoreboard starts to change. Suddenly it's filled with outcomes—grades, trophies, college acceptances—instead of who they're becoming.

And sure, that comes from love. We want them to be self-sufficient, get a job, move out. But if we're honest, sometimes our kids' success feels like our own. Just like coaches who love to hang banners, we sometimes want to flex our kids' accomplishments instead of their character. I’ve certainly been guilty of this.

To be fair, it doesn't have quite the same ring: "Oh yeah, your kid got into Harvard? Well, mine is emotionally intelligent, knows how to pitch in, and is generally a pleasure to talk to."

But as much as I love tangible outcomes and winning, I think this is the scoreboard that matters more. And I think if we appropriately adjust our pressures around achievement, our kids will feel that too as they get older.

Maybe that's the win we're after. Like a great coach whose players can’t wait to play for him again, we can raise kids who still want to “keep playing the game” with us when they grow up . . . and go on to hang a few banners of their own.