Parenting through privilege, Sephora Tweens & Dad Texts

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

Disturbing Trend
“Get Ready With Me” — for 6th Grade?
Jonathan Haidt continues to sound the alarm on the impact of social media on kids. One growing concern: Sephora Tweens — girls as young as 9 or 10 flooding TikTok with “GRWM” beauty routines and $200 skincare hauls.
Check out his latest Instagram post for a look at this trend.

Interesting Article

How Should a Modern-Day Father Be?

On a work day in Midtown Manhattan, dads attended an event about the future of fatherhood. (It was organized by moms.) The core message: children crave fathers who are engaged, affectionate, and emotionally reliable. Dads who not only roughhouse but hug can break intergenerational cycles by simply being present.

A Good Laugh
The Subtle Art of the Dad Text

Teen: “Can you call me an Uber after the game?”
Dad: “Sure.”
. . . after the game . . .
Dad: “You’re an Uber.” 😑

In honor of Father’s Day, the NYT rounded up reader-submitted dad texts. Worth the read!

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.
— Aesop

Greed has a way of severing the cords of compassion. And when we always want more, we miss what we already have. — Richard Foster

1 Big Dad Idea

Parenting Through Privilege: The Gift of “Less”

Last week we dove into the beauty in “The Jenky.” This week I want to expand on that idea a bit because it’s becoming increasingly difficult to impart some of these “grit” values in my children the more well-off our family has become. I wrote about this struggle years ago for Today’s Parent, and even though our kids are much older now, much of it still holds up as useful advice—especially for raising teens.

Here’s an excerpted version of that article, Parenting Through Privilege:

I bought my first car for $600—from the school lunch lady. A 1983 Chevy Celebrity with a “Some bunny loves you” bumper sticker, a top speed of 63 mph, and more cough than purr. She flaked instead of sparkled. And I loved her.

I was proud because I earned it. I grew up in a house of 10 on a janitor’s salary in small-town Ohio. One bathroom. One working shower. Hand-me-down everything. And honestly? It shaped me in the best way.

Fast forward 30+ years, and I live a far different life—big family, big house, running my own successful business. Our kids are healthy, safe, and comfortable. By most measures, our life is pretty grand.

And for a while … that bothered me.

I just couldn’t help feeling that life was too dang cushy.

Actually, I was fine with a cushy life for my wife and me. It was my kids I worried about. I found myself wondering:

Will they ever really want for something?
Will they know the value of hard work or grit?
Will they be hungry for anything?

Instead of leaning into this “better” life, I started quietly sabotaging it:

No, we’re not getting five ice cream cones—two bowls and five spoons.

Yes, we’re walking.

You don’t need gloves—it’s 38 degrees outside.

$4 lemonade? Are you out of your mind? We’ve got water at home.

I started asking: How do we give our kids the advantage of disadvantage—without needing to move into a camper or eat nothing but beans and rice?

Turns out, we don’t have to be extreme. We just have to be intentional. Here are three simple shifts we’ve made to build more grit, gratitude, and groundedness in our kids:

1. Embrace “Enough”

We talk about “enough” as a core family value. Not because we want our kids to live without—but because we want them to live within.

• Presence over presents: Birthdays mean homemade cakes, handwritten cards, and grandparents gifting experiences, not just more stuff.

• Active Recreation: Parks, hikes, and front-yard wrestling > screen time and “just one more app.”

• Prioritize Savings: Just because we can afford it, doesn’t mean we should buy it - whether that’s a game for your PlayStation or a pool for the house.

2. Value Responsibility

If I wanted that rusty Chevy, I had to earn it—mowing lawns, shoveling snow, delivering papers at 5:30 AM. [Funny aside: My brother and I were habitually late delivering papers, and one time the GM called me to say a customer complained. That customer – my grandmother. Sheeeeesh, grandma!]

We want our kids to understand that same connection between effort and reward.

• Contributions, not chores: Everyone helps run the house. No payment, just responsibility. Dishes, counters, trash—it’s a team thing. Most of the time.
  

• Waste not, want not: Water over juice. Secondhand clothes that are “new to you!”
  

• Tiny allowance, big lessons: We do pay them for chores that go above and beyond, and we teach them not to spend it all in one place (spend/save/give).

3. Encourage Risk + Independence

Growing up, there was no time to be micromanaged. We built sketchy bike ramps and climbed sketchier trees. We failed. We learned. We figured it out.

That’s the experience I want for my kids.

• Let them try first: Whether it’s tying shoes or spelling “spaghetti,” let them stumble.
  

• Stay on the sidelines: Let them sort out their own games and fights. Be nearby—but don’t jump in too fast.
  

• Celebrate risk: If they tried something bold and survived with only a scrape? That’s a win.

The goal of all of this is not simply to toughen our kids up to the realities of a harsh world. That’s not our job. Instead, we create these slightly “lesser life” moments so that our kids have a fighting chance to grow up grateful, confident, and capable—ready for a world that won’t always be comfortable—which someday might mean picking up their prom date in the 20-year-old Honda Odyssey.

That might just be the best lesson we ever teach them.

Thanks for reading, dads. Let’s make this time count!