One day they’ll leave home. Make sure they take your words with them.
The teenage years are flying by.
One minute you’re driving them to elementary school. The next, you’re looking at graduation dates and realizing how little time is left under one roof.
You want to stay close. You want them to remember they’re loved. But real conversations get squeezed out by sports or school or friends or work.
You feel the clock ticking, but you don’t have a simple plan for using the time that’s left.
A simple weekly habit that changes everything.
A few years ago, I realized I was mostly hoping connection would happen naturally. So I started sending each of my teens one intentional message every week.
Sometimes it was a text. Sometimes an email. Sometimes a voice memo.
Not long. Not perfect. Just a simple way to stay connected amid the busyness of teenage life. Before They Leave is the exact framework I’ve used for more than 150 consecutive weeks.
One short message a week about friendship, confidence, disappointment, money, gratitude, family, and the everyday moments that shape a life. [See 100+ real message topics here.]
And one unexpected benefit: by the time your child leaves home, they’ll have a collection of your stories, wisdom, encouragement, and reminders that they were deeply loved.
I can’t think of a better gift to leave behind. (Though my kids would probably vote for cash.)
With the FREE Playbook, you’ll get access to:
The Full Introduction
The “90% problem” that shows how much in-person time is already gone
The story of how a weekly message habit started and what changed in my relationship with my teens
Part 1: Getting Started
- Why waiting for “big moments” doesn’t work
- Why teens shut down (and how to remove the pressure to respond)
- The LIFT framework at a glance: LOVE, INQUIRE, FOSTER, TEACH
- A simple way to decide what your teen needs from you this week
Bonus: 5 Sample Messages
- Real messages you can personalize and send right away
- Examples that show what each type of message looks like in real life
- Training wheels so you’re not staring at a blank screen on Week 1
You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of the habit, the framework, and enough examples to send your first message tonight.
Who This Playbook Is For
This is for you if:
You have a middle school, high school, or college-age kid
- You feel the distance growing and don’t want to just “hope” things get better
You’re willing to show up once a week, even if it feels a little awkward at first
It's not for you if you're mainly looking for:
Quick fixes or guaranteed outcomes
Ways to control your teen’s behavior
A dense research book instead of a practical playbook
Why I Started Sending My Teens One Message a Week