Youth Sports Mess, Staycation Dates and Single Story Dangers

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

Post-Vacay Workout Tip
Ease Back In
I was talking with one of our coaches at FitWit this week, and he mentioned how intentional he’s been about programming workouts for folks returning after time off, whether it’s a week or a month. The takeaway: slow on the reentry. Too much, too soon can lead to soreness, setbacks, or worse. Your body will thank you for easing back into rhythm instead of trying to make up for lost time.

Thought-Provoking Article
“The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
This powerful TED Talk explores how we often form opinions based on incomplete narratives. It’s a good reminder, especially for those of us raising kids in a divided world, to model curiosity over certainty and to encourage our teens to ask better questions before forming strong opinions. Watch it here.

Marriage Pro-Tip:

Staycation Dates
Last weekend, my wife and I turned a simple concert night into a mini staycation. Nothing fancy: an afternoon at a hotel pool, a lovely dinner, the concert, and breakfast the next morning. Just enough to fill up the tank and not break the bank. Highly recommend you date your spouse. Remember, it ain’t all about parenting, paying bills and stressing about your job!

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

“Sports teaches you character, it teaches you to play by the rules, it teaches you to know what it feels like to win and lose—it teaches you about life.”
— Billie Jean King

"Sports do not build character. They reveal it.”
— Heywood Broun

1 Big Dad Idea

Youth Sports: What Are We Even Doing? (Part 1)

Last week, I linked to an article about private equity firms buying up youth sports organizations. As you can probably guess, I don’t think that story ends well.

Over the next few newsletters, I want to talk about youth sports—what's gone wrong and what we, as parents, might do to reclaim our sanity. Today, I’ll lay out some of the issues. Over the next couple of weeks, hopefully we can chart a path to something better.

But to be clear, this first email (or two) is mostly me griping. And based on the conversations I’ve had, I know I’m not alone.

With five kids, we’ve experienced plenty of youth sports: basketball, lacrosse, gymnastics, track & field, and mainly soccer. Regardless of the sport, once your kid ages out of the local rec league, the issues start to look the same, whether it’s club soccer, travel baseball, AAU basketball, or competitive cheer (is that even a sport?! I kid, I kid).

Let’s start with the biggest offenders:

The Cost

Good coaches and good facilities cost money. Fair enough. If you have the means to invest in high-level instruction and competitive play, it can be worth it. But what about the families who can’t afford it? Must they really leverage their families’ well-being so little Johnny can play the sport he loves?

To play on a competitive team, families can expect to spend $1,000 - $3,000 per year in fees alone.

And that’s just the beginning.

Consider uniforms: custom team bags, game jerseys, multiple practice kits—easily $400+ per kid. Do we really need to be zipped head-to-toe in pro-level gear just to play U12 soccer? What happened to reversible jerseys?

And the kicker (at least for us in club soccer) - you’d think that with clubs charging $2,000+ per kid, they’d have administrative support. Nope. Every team still requires a volunteer “team manager” who handles communication, game logistics, hotel bookings, and more. It’s no longer “Who’s bringing orange slices?” It’s a part-time job.

The Travel

Then there’s the travel. Though we live in Atlanta where plenty of good competition can be found within 20 miles, we’ll routinely have regular season games scheduled in Alabama, Tennessee, North Carolina, and Florida. One of our upcoming league weekends involves a 7-hour drive from Atlanta to Raleigh for two games. NBD, right?!

Add in hotels, gas, food, time off work and now you’re paying a premium just for the privilege of participating.

Now, I’m not against some travel. I actually think it’s great for teams to do ONE tournament a season, somewhere within a few hours, stay in a hotel, and make some memories. The kids have a blast. The parents get tipsy at the hotel bar. Generally, a good time.

But traveling like we’re getting paid to do this? That’s insane.

The Toll on the Family

Even if you lump the cost of travel into the earlier category, what about the time?

Our family has 3-4 hotel-based travel weekends this fall alone. Last year, we spent Thanksgiving week driving to Orlando for a soccer tournament. We missed our family gatherings, much-needed down-time, and—cherry on top—paid an additional $15 per person per game just to watch our daughter’s team play mediocre soccer (sorry, honey!) against . . . THREE OTHER TEAMS FROM ATLANTA!

Did she have fun? Sure. Did the rest of us? Not so much.

The clubs will tell you it’s necessary to “find the competition.” But in the process, our kids miss school, families miss vacations, and siblings miss out on their own activities. It becomes the family identity.

Not a pretty picture so far. And I’m not sure next week gets much better because we’re going to dig into what might be the heart of the issue: us parents.

Stay tuned.