Youth Sports Part 2, Cooking with Kids & Back to School!

3 Things I'm Loving, Reading, Watching or Doing

Meal time

How to embrace the mess and stress of cooking with your kids

Cooking with kids is messy. Dad chef, David Nayfeld, wants you to do it anyways. He shares tips on how to cook with kids of all ages, along with hearty, family-friendly recipes, in a new cookbook published in May, Dad, What's for Dinner? Read the NPR article here.

A Parenting Gem from Bob Odenkirk

In this podcast with comedian Mike Birbiglia, actor Bob Odenkirk reflects on fatherhood. When asked who he was jealous of, Odenkirk said:

“Gee, anybody who's still got little kids at home growing up. There's no question. I knew what I was doing when I had kids growing up. I was being a dad. I mean, that was my job. . . . pick up everything between here and the door and make sure they get to school and have a laugh with them. I understood my purpose.”

A simple but powerful reminder that the the small things are the big things!

Back to school!

It’s school season again here in the South. This picture (below) popped up in my Facebook memories, and it’s a reminder of how much we’ve celebrated school and learning in our house. (Full credit to my wife on that front.)

Every year, she’d make the first day special. The night before, we’d read a passage about kindness, showing up for others, and being someone you can be proud of, not just about academic achievement.

It helped even our most school-averse kid walk in with a little more excitement.

2 Quotes Worth Pondering

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
— William Butler Yeats

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."
— Benjamin Franklin

1 Big Dad Idea

Youth Sports Mess: What Are We Even Doing? (Part 2)

We’re back with Part 2 of my rant insights on navigating the mess of youth sports. Missed Part 1? Catch up here.

Last week, we looked at three major issues impacting youth sports participation: the cost, the travel, and the toll on families.

In my best game show voice: But that’s not all . . .

The Never-Ending Season

Many high-level youth teams operate year-round. Some barely pause for the high school season. Others forbid it entirely. In MLS Next, for example, kids aren’t allowed to play for their high school team. That’s right, the league literally prohibits it.

Even professional athletes don’t grind year-round without structured rest and recovery.

Now, at first glance, year-round play might seem like a good thing if your child is trying to level up. More reps, more games, more progress, right?

But if we zoom out and take a whole-child athletic development perspective, it’s clear this isn’t best practice, especially for kids under 13. Studies consistently show the benefits of multi-sport participation and movement diversity:

• Fewer injuries

• Better coordination

• Higher overall athleticism

• Less burnout

As someone who runs a gym with a strong youth athlete program, I keep a close eye on the latest research. And what it tells us is this: ages 6 to 12 are a critical window for developing broad physical literacy. The more varied the movement patterns during this time, the better. One of the guys I trust in the youth development world is Jeremy Frisch, and he recently posted: “Nothing in all of strength and conditioning or rehab performance can make up for missing out on fundamental skill and coordination developed through the skill hungry years between the ages of 6 and 12.”

Yet many youth sport organizations are pushing kids in the exact opposite direction.

Let me be clear: I’m not completely anti-specialization. At some point — usually around age 13 — it can make sense to focus on one or two sports, especially those requiring refined skill. To be at the top level, you’ll need to put in the hours in that specific sport.

But even then, this relentless, year-round grind is out of control. We think that treating kids like pros will make them perform like pros. But that’s not how development works, especially in adolescence.

Even kids who live for the game and have to be dragged off the court need an off-season.

The Parent Problem

And finally … there’s us.

Let’s be honest: sideline behavior has become a sport of its own.

In the past decade with five kids playing, I’ve seen it all:

• Parents berating their own kids

• Parents fighting each other

• Parents fighting coaches

• Parents fighting refs

And perhaps most common (and almost as damaging):

Parents yelling tactical advice mid-play like they're on the coaching staff. Let me count the ways this hurts your child (and the team):

1. You’re probably wrong.

2. And even if you’re right, it’s too late.

3. The coach might be working a bigger plan you don’t see.

4. You’re stealing your child’s chance to think, decide, and grow (you know, kinda the whole point of sports). Nothing worse than a kid looking to the stands after every single play.

5. Your kid doesn’t want to hear it. Seriously.

6. You’re confusing the team. Who should they listen to?

7. You’re still probably wrong.

It’s one of the reasons my wife and I often find the most isolated corner of the field or court to watch games. One time, we literally sat in what looked like a treehouse press box just to escape the noise. It might make us look antisocial, but I’ll take that over getting sucked into sideline drama.

So what’s the deal? Why can’t we parents help ourselves?

Sure, we want what’s best for our kids. And yes, some of us are probably chasing our own faded athletic dreams through them. A little vicarious living.

But I think two deeper forces are at play:

1. Identity projection.

Too many parents attach their own self-worth to their child’s performance. Maybe this stems from unresolved stuff in their own upbringing, but the result is the same: the child carries the burden of making the parent feel valuable. That’s a heavy (and unfair) load for a kid.

Parents need hobbies outside of parenting to retain their identity. I’ve written about this before.

2. Optimization obsession.

We’ve bought into the belief that more is better. More training. More tournaments. More exposure.

It’s not just sports — college admissions, test prep, private coaches. We’re trying to optimize every aspect of childhood. And businesses know it. They’ve monetized our anxiety. They know we’ll pay anything to give our kid a leg up. It’s sweet music to their ears. And chaos (and $$$) for the rest of us.

I see this pressure play out firsthand at FitWit. Our training is a significant investment, and there’s a fair argument that youth athletic development programs like ours can contribute to the problem. That’s one reason why, when parents reach out to us about training, we work hard to manage expectations. Sometimes that means saying: We’re not the right fit… because your child doesn’t need a personal trainer right now.

But even then, many parents keep searching because in the race to keep up with the Joneses, sitting still feels like falling behind. It becomes increasingly hard to opt out of the pressure.

If these five issues don’t make you a wee bit depressed about the state of youth sports . . . well, maybe YOU are the problem.

(Joking. Mostly.)

Or maybe you’ve figured out a better way. If so, please share.

Next week in Part 3, I’ll share a few practical ideas to help parents try to reclaim some sanity, protect our families, and focus on what actually matters. Things that mean a whole lot more than a 12U baseball trophy.
Spoiler alert: I said try.